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Saturday, August 11
Feeding Frenzy
In Kel's own words, getting a table is also part and parcel of the "food court experience". Too true. It takes considerable skill to spot a table whose occupants are just finishing up the dregs of their meal; to hover around like a vulture until they're done; to get your tissue packet on the table before anyone else does. Here's a blow-by-blow analysis on top-class Table-Scouting, for the timid and the inexperienced:
Step 1a: Zoom in on the kill. (Tip: Look out for fruit platters/desserts - always a sign of the end of a meal). Step 1b: If you have reinforcements, spread out to cover more ground. Step 2: Hover and maintain a close enough distance to let other Table-Scouters know you've got your territory marked, but not so close as to cause (too much) discomfort for the table's current occupants. Step 3: Let them know you're waiting. Occasional eye contact, tapping of the foot, gathering of reinforcements are suggested. (Note: For those who seem to derive a perverse pleasure out of making people wait, be direct and ask if you can clear their tables for them - 97% effective). Step 4: You've probably got the table by now, but if you haven't, go to a restaurant and wait to be seated, noob.