July 2004
August 2004
September 2004
October 2004
November 2004
December 2004
January 2005
February 2005
March 2005
April 2005
May 2005
June 2005
July 2005
August 2005
September 2005
October 2005
November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
March 2006
April 2006
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
Thursday, September 30
//in Your hands; i belong. :)
help. help.
oh dear..
everything is so messed up.
i wanna have someone and yet i don't.
its a whole web of complicated stuff
that i don't even wanna touch.
i need something..
i need someone..
i am
terribly
lost.
mr kwee's poem
Crystals, i adore.
Happily, i admire.
Emeralds, i applaud.
Rubies, i appreciate.
Yes, but the one i really prize,
Life, my idol i forever cherish.
ok, thats the poem that kwee wrote for me. he wrote one for every single person in class, and i admittedly am rather impressed. hahaha. i din know his engreesh was sho power. i told him that, he said he has just been hiding his skills all along. rrrigght. what was that "convidence" all about eh? hahaha. oh well. i applaud him anyway.
today mr ho said something really lame, which i just have to share with all of you. now, ordinarily, i would not share any of his lame stuff cos its really too crappy to put down.. but this.. well.
sec x
_______ = se x
c
haha. ok never mind. i found it damn funny. hehheh. ok anyway. his is pretty annoying cos he was supposed to release us at 1145, but in the the we ended only at 1250, his final words being: "i always like to be on time.." ahhhh. right right. im sure.
so anyway! today at the tables outside the lib, while waiting for shawn and mr pang, i sat opposite my j2 shuai ge! wahahaz. didn't realise it for awhile. whee hee. X) he's really quite cute. lol! i will not mention names in case.. well.. i dunno. but just in case. hahaha.
yeah so like i said, today was supposed to end at 1145, but ho kept us back for an hour more, then me and shawn had to see nathan for, err, tips, for PC.. which were definitely, shall we say, useful. haha. she took about an hour. after that hadta see mr pang.. which took another two hours. lets just say, three people in one seminar room which smells like it hasnt been aired since the stone age (which, i highly suspect is the case) is not a pleasant two hours. heh! haha. ok he's not bad la, its the smell, i tell you. so basically i ended up leaving school at 4. la dee dah. hello?!?! isnt that like normal school day!?!?
well imma study with sherman now. i think im late. heheh. sorry! i might update when i come back. i have this feeling im missing out something. kk. chow, for now.
speaking of which, chow is gone! argh. =( i will miss him and his i-just-woke-up hairstyle!
funki-licious!
funki-licious!
i am groovin'; i am shakin'.
hahah. and i have no idea what that was about.
i ammmm... feeling very weird... haha..
on one hand.. its better to give it up..
that way you will actually talk to me...
on the other hand.. well, you are hard to forget, yes?
haha. and i say this in the best way possible.
i'm slowly letting go, mind you..
so don't hate me for it.
smiles.
this is my 100th post!
*OOOOH* hahaha. dont this call for some kinda celebration or other?
well.. actually, just goes to remind me why i started this blog in the first place.. hahaa. ah well. i kinda like it actually. =)
his cheeseburger
just found the lyrics to my favourite-test veggietales song! hahaha. its really super funny. go d/l (oops i did not say d/l) it if you can.
love songs with mr. lunt:
his cheeseburger.
He said to her I'd like a cheeseburger
And I might like a milkshake as well
She said to him, "I can't give you either"
And he said, "Isn't this Burger Bell?"
She said, "Yes it is, but we're closed now,
But we open tomorrow at ten."
He said, "I am extremely hungry,
But I guess I can wait until then."
Cuz you're his cheeseburger
His yummy cheeseburger
He'll wait for you. Ya!
He'll wait for you.
Oh, you are his cheeseburger
His tasty cheeseburger
He'll wait for you
Oh, he will wait for you.
He stayed at the drive-thru till sunrise
He may have dozed off once or twice
When he spotted a billboard for Denny's
Bacon and eggs for half price!
How could he resist such an offer?
He really needed something to munch
Cheeseburger, please do not get angry
He'll eat and be back here for lunch!
Cuz you're his cheeseburger
His precious cheeseburger
Be back for you.
He'll be back for you.
Won't be so long, cheeseburger
Oh, lovely cheeseburger
Be back for you
Oh, he'll be back for you.
Cuz he loves you cheeseburger with all his heart
And there's nothin' gonna tear you two apart
And if the world suddenly ran out of cheese,
He would get down on his hands and knees
To see if someone accidently dropped some cheese in the dirt
And he would wash it off for you
Wipe it off for you
Clean that dirty cheese off just for you!
You are his cheese ... burrrr ... grrrrr!
whee hee!
lalalala!
haha.. it doesnt take a genius to guess why im so happy!
well.. at least if you're in CJ you should know why la..
tmr, got SPA but other than that no school.
thurs, school up to 11.45 only. ok maybe later cos got lit.
fri, no school!!!
whee hee!!
hahaha. just this morning i was complaining to my mum
and in a very super bad mood cos i was ending so late everyday
and had no time to do anything.
and then!!! hahaha. yay. i was super happy.
God answered my prayer ok. heheh.
yes, i actually prayed tt BP would miraculously change the timetable.
and thus, the day was great,
although i did (and still do) have a headache.
argh. well.......
i miss shufang!! hahahah. yessa, i do.
im just so bored without her. ok, not saying you're boring, marcus..
but.. yknow.. u hafta STOP LAUGHING!!! hehh.
well shufang i hope u arent too bored too..
i will not attempt to call you in case u refuse to put down again..
heheh. =P
umm. what else?
im trying to figure someone out.
its.. hard.. lol. but its okay.
i am patient.
you are doctor.
haha. ok never mind.
LOLX.
GP promos
GP was okay, right?
yeah.. i think so. i mean, do-able?
probably not the best cos i didn't get to finish up my AQ.
sigh! on the whole, the general feeling was good.
then again, not entirely reliable, my feelings.
haha anyway.
life is getting boring, mundane..
but its okay.. i'll just bear with it for the next few weeks.
ummm. everyone's trying to beat me at GP.
hahaha. its funny.
will i be very xia sway if they do.. heheh.
maybe!!! so, well we'll see yea?
that stupid shufang got 25/25 for her econs mock MCQ.
i mean, who on earth gets 25/25 man?!?!
then again, she did have like 2h to do her MCQ cos she didnt do her case study at all. ok she did like 2 qns. and she still managed to get 11/30, AO pass.
that freak.. ahaha.
me on the other hand.. did quite not bad lah.
nothing as good as full marks. 22 for both. pretty contented la.
k chow, gotta bathe.
gab, i'll beat you the next time. 2:3 is quite close ma. hahah.
happening day!
hahahaha.
lotsa weird things going on around here!
okay, although this isnt meant to be funny.. but it is simply bcos it happened to shufang.. hahaha. ok, well, she got chicken pox like today. yep. and the exams span a total of two weeks from tmr onwards, exactly the time she has to be quarantined. now, ordinarily, i'd be feeling extremely sympathetic toward such an unlucky soul, but its shufang!!! hahaha. its so HER!! oh man! when she told me that, i was like.. why am i not surprised.. heheh. ok sorrry shufang. you poor thing. heheheh. =P
so promos officially start tmr. GP paper. been getting msges going along the lines of: "guys this is what we've been studying for! promos are here! all the best!". haha. thanks to those who sent them. i never really thought of it as that impt until now. THANKS FOR MAKING ME START TO PANIC. hahaha. like yeah right. i am not an exam-panicky person. i hardly worry for exams, even though i know im gonna fail or something. hahaha. is that good or bad, i haven't exactly figured out. what i do know is, i am not feeling very worried about tmr, albeit the fact that i haven't studied much for it. hahaa. i am not trying to scare anyone here. just trying to justify, in the future, my possible low GP grades. yes, derek, you might beat me. haha. okok. i will try and study now. i mean. try and get it into my head that the paper's tomorrow. *knock knock pound pound shake shake* there, almost done.
i dont think i have time to finish studying math, econs, phy and lit. especially physics. haha. sorry mr low. lau. alvin. =) umm. yes. what i am actually worried about is what i am gonna do after promos, bcos i happen to have this thing called NYAA which i havent even start on at all. am i dead or what? someone save me. i need the stupid grey diary thingy.
today was midautumn festival in church! thank God it went well! no rain, free lightning effects, big crowd and cute kids. if only it rained mooncakes. =)
abby// hope you're feeling better. love you k?
continued ramblings..
capital punishment or not?
justice or moral integrity?
casino or not?
economic success or social well-being?
war or not?
total dictatorship or total chaos?
homosexuality or not?
moral compromise or narrow minded-ness?
God or not?
live or die?
heck!
ah, what the heck!
how long can one live in oblivion?
i don't know, but im gonna try.
haha.
i woke up this morning very cheery,
for some reason or other.
in fact, i dont know what reason it could possibly be.
i went to sleep very un-cheery, actually.
well anyway.
i was so cheery i actually msged a few ppl,
who i haven't msged in awhile,
cheery good morning msges!
haha.
if im happy and i know it..
im gonna clap my hands.
how long can one live in oblivion?
i don't know, but im gonna try.
again?
today seems to come with a high frequency of posts.
haha. perhaps im just bored. nah, more like hurt?
im not supposed to be, im not supposed to care. right..?
argh. the null period seems to be over.
the cycle's beginning all over again - just that this time,
you aren't here to tell me how hard it is for you too.
im not doing this to myself, i swear...
traimisuit, sister, me, lydia. =) 
i love this pic! heheh. so cuuuuuute. =P
me, weekie, derek.
and that, folks, is what we were doing on tchers day.
we were rockin', but the sweat was rollin'.
it was that hot.
decidedly odd
today was a decidedly odd day, come to think of it.
we talked. a little. nice? weird? i dunno. thing is, it can't be the same.
----
i'm not exactly sure how i'm feeling these days! no more a rush of strong emotions; well, maybe occasionally. yet somehow i know i haven't really let you go? given up the outward, showy love, to settle for something much more contented, yet maybe silently posessive.
and that, was crap.
unless you understand.
haha.
tom yam
my boyfriend's name is tom.
his last name is yam,
and he's hot.
done. sigh!
=)
anyway. i just redid my lit essay. its about 2pages shorter than the original, but what the heck, i did it in less than 2h! haha. yeah basically i decided i couldnt hope any longer. sigh. mr pang came to my class to find me can.. what to do.. hehs. well its done. if this one gets lost too, well, either someone's out to get me or he's secretly in love with my handwriting. hey, if that's true, steal my PC essay for all i care! lay off Othello!
argh. pleeease.
so basically, i haven;t found my lit essay yet, cos ms nathan was sick on friday and monday and i was sick yday.. and today i couldnt find her. oh please please please have my essay? =/
everyone please pray for me! heh. i mean. its seriously the thing that worries me most now. argh. no fun no fun. please find please find. ok im getting incoherent. you get the drift. heeeeeelp!
oh, the dumb search page is still there. hello? a lil help please.
yali, shan, me.
questions unanswered
what do i do?
what can i do?
where do i run?
where do i hide?
what should i treasure?
what if i died?
who should i trust?
who should i love?
who can i love?
when will it end?
when will i know?
why are there so few?
why am i here?
why is the sky so blue?
why am i so lost without you?
wild wild world
"oh, baby, baby, it's a wild world." --mr big.
wassup;
saturday. approx 11am. behind CJC canteen.
i witnessed a wassup. two, in fact. should i say i'm lucky or what? hahah. it was interesting but kinda sick. for those who don't know what a wassup is, ask any SJI guy, i won't go into details. basically, it was this guy's bday as usual, and they were doing their thing when this other guy threw a shoe on his you-know-what.. and it hurt a damn lot. so everyone scolded that guy.. i quote.. "a wassup is supposed to look painful, but not actually be painful". well anyway. then everyone went to wassup that guy. and that's how i got two for the price of one. in any case, as far as i could tell, julia was having the most fun. she was filimg the entire thing, and wassup-ing the guys as well. she rawks man.
wedding;
saturday. 2.30pm. bethesda church bukit arang.
ivan's and agi's wedding! haha. it was kewl.. hungarian translations and all. hehs! although, looking at the wedding photos from hungary, i'd say it was tons more fun there. haha. anyway, agi looked like a ms universe contestant! plus the brains, of course. ah ah. terrible me. i shall not stereotype. anyway, yknow, she spoke in hungarian for awhile.. and it reminded me of those european beauty queens who needed translators to answer the questions. haha. well yes. then the dinner. at the Hilton, no less. sadly, it didnt really live up to its standard. Paris Hilton's extravagance must've taken its toll on the family business. anyway, it was kinda fun. haha. serene got drunk..... or high. or, more friendly, as she termed it.
wine;
saturday. 8.30pm. the Hilton.
70 crates of imported wine, so i heard. 6 glasses out of those 70 crates went into serene's tummy. hahaha. ok i shall not embarass you. basically she was a lil high, not very drunk. was smiling to nothing in particular.. and yada yada. quite interesting. hahaha. joel and smellyman kept teasing her. anyway. nick was worse. i quote. "eh, you're quite drunk eh.. do you realise you're not wearing anything?". hahaha. he's damn funny. ok. enough enough. the wine was good, i admit. but then again, i wouldn't really know.
washroom;
monday. dunno what time. CJ E-block level 5 washroom.
guys' washroom, to be exact. ok, i'm not sure if its E block la. what block are we on anyway?? doesn't matter. what happened was, julia kong (yeahs, the one who was wassup-ing ppl) also happened to go into the guys' washroom at this particular time! well, marcus was inside, at that particular moment, peeing. thus, when he heard julia's voice, he was thinking: "why is her voice so loud ar?", when he realised tt she was in the toilet. and therefore, when i stepped into class, i could hear weekoon trying to console marcus. hahaha. i think he feels a lil violated although he doesn't wanna admit it. anyway, when i heard abt it, my first question was, "marcus, are you pissed?".
weakness;
tuesday. 6.04am. my bedroom.
woke up with a bad cold and cough today, no idea why. i was fine yday! anyway, yeahs, i didn't go to school. went to the doc at around 11plus, and that was where a real dumb thing happened. see, there's this cupboard on the wall, above the magazine rack, which i have never noticed all these years. my powers of observation fail me, sometimes. anyway. yeah. i was trying to take a magazine when i bumped my head against the cupboard. and bumped is an understatement. the crash was damn loud, and the two receptionists there were very shocked and kept asking me if i was ok. honestly, i wasn't. it was freekin pain. but i was trying to not look like the idiot that i had just made myself to be, so i sat down and pretended to read the mag. anyone who looked carefully would realise i was pretending simply bcos it was a chinese mag. yeah anyway. i think they told the doc abt it, or he heard the crash, cos when i went in he helped me check my head too. i quote. "how come can hit one? my clinic open 12 years nobody ever hit before leh.." well, i just smiled weakly. yeah. he told me not to rub it, not to do anything with it, and if i vomitted or felt giddy, go back and see him. i felt like saying, "don't worry doctor, i won't sue you lah." well yeah. basically i spent my whole day watching the Emmys that my sis helped me tape, and sleeping. just woke up, in fact.
whatever;
everyday. from this time forth. wherever.
i will not care. i am not hurt. i am not sad. i am just a lil empty. a lil wistful. (ah, another w). i think i can finally give it all up. but there are no substitutes, rest assured. then again, i care abt what you think. hmm. this whatever only extends halfway. i guess you could be proud of me? this is what you've always wanted anyway.
who?
what?
where?
when?
me.
rambling.
here.
now.
rainbow
all the colours of the rainbow.
and more!
X)
funfunfun day =)
hey! what's going on in your lives? exams? PW? studying? slacking? haha. for me, its basically PW and studying. ugh. ugh ugh. i so hate PW. its just super lame. hahaha. but my grp is quite fun =P
newaes, went to study with sherman at the study room at my condo's clubhouse. seriously, i didnt even know there was a study room til he told me. and he doesnt even live here. anyway. he said its very quiet one.. but when we went there.. ummm.. there were two china girls who were talking really loudly! ok la, but at least they're not very annoying. then there was this small china boy with his mum, they were doing math sums.. and the small boy kept scolding his mum for reading it wrongly.. and his mum scold him back.. but it wasnt the violent kind. haha. i dunno. was kinda sorry for the mum, annoyed with the boy. well whatever. i managed to finish all my application of differenciation tutorials.. except two qns.. sigh. which i dunno how to do!! argh. yeps.
today, met yali, khim and shifu with shan.. woaaa.. damn fun. haaha. i haven't laughed so much since.. really long ago! man.. hahaa.. it was just damn funny. i bet LJS were glad when we left though, cos we were shocking all their customers away.. hahaha. we just sat there and talked.. saw pinyue also.. and then.. wenta take neoprint. haha. second neoprint this year! amazing huh. anyway. it was kinda screwed up what whatever.. haha. quite fun. yeah.. shaln't elaborate. haha. ok i just did. heheh. not in a very literary mood today.
speaking of lit. heh. i STILL haven't found the darn essay. im gonna cry. there is seriously NO WAY i am rewriting it. no way no way no way!!! hehs. please ms nathan, find it find it! well. PC was kinda, sick today. no, ms nathan wasnt there.. she was sick. but we did this poem called 'Funeral Blues' by W.H Auden, and we were supposed to do a parody on it. basically, the poet is gay and he's lamenting the loss of his gay partner. so we decided to write the new one from the perspective of his gay partner who doesnt really like him. ok, yeah, lame. it was extremely sick man. i dont even wanna go into details. u can ask shawn if u want. haha. k yups.
basically, im gonna study with sherman again soon. just gotta go and bathe.. yeah.
oh today was interesting. haha. i was walking along the corridor from the staircase.. and someone walked out of the toilet. we smiled. haha. kinda weird, but at least things are better now.
ok, so. for those who have actually made it to the end, chow!
ugh. i gotta do PW. ugh. econs test tmr. ugh. not replying me. =(
nothing, really
i can't seem to find the strength
to feel mad/pissed/angry/despaired.
have i grown so used to it
that i've begun to take it in my stride?
does it work to return apathy with apathy?
good/bad?
the negativity may not be there,
but the hurt still surfaces at times.
ah well.
all i can say is i don't care
i love you.
a vote - haircut? no?
the polls are running.
please tag the tag board if you're bored.
what to vote for?
should i or should i not get a haircut?
yup.
toll-free.
just vote
:)
my day as it was
well well well.
today was an interesting day, to say the least.
full of obscure, quirky, funny events that made the day a lil brighter.
hahah! i think God does have his ways of answering prayer. hehe. so He didn't shorten my timetable/make me sick so i could go home (oops).. so what?
well anyway, shall i bore you with the details?
haha i think i shall. it will be random, no doubt, cos i'm just gonna write what i think of. no essay outline here.
ok! first things first.. the mystery of the missing lit essay continues to be a mystery. however, detective cheryl has made some teenyweeny progress. she got down to asking ms nathan to please check her pile of papers, which she said were at home. so. *faint glimmer of hope* haha. i mean. *ahem* the detective has followed up the lead well. now to wait for results.
next. if anyone still naively thinks that rain only pours down vertically, you are so so wrong. ask anyone in my class. ask anyone in the adjoining three classes, in fact. what really happened? i dont know. i think the wind was freekin strong and it blew the rain right past the shutters into the class. into 3/4 of the class. which is quite a feat, considering the class is pretty huge. lucky for me, i am slighty more than 3/4 of the classroom away from the threatening windows. yeaps :) hehe. and so i sat there and laughed (it was pretty hilarious) as my poor ole classmates looked forlornly at their drenched worksheets, wet books, even wetter tables, and flooded chairs. okok. my chair was wet too. happy? haha. seriously! a mini flood, right in our classrooms! we spent most of chinese lesson hanging the stuff to dry, mopping the floor, drying the tables and chairs (with a PE tshirt, no less).. and yada yada. heheh. how's that for an interesting day?
well.. before that, we just ended physics lect, and we were in LT1 cos our next math lect was also there. so i was drawing some shades on ganesh's picture of himself (which, obviously, resembles a dracula) when the lights went out! at first i thought the teacher turned it off.. then we heard the BOOOOM. and everyone went "ohhh..". naturally! CJC >> thunderstorm >> blackout. heck, sometimes we don't even need the thunderstorm! i bet everyone's used to blackouts by now. since i;ve been here, i've experienced 3 blackouts and approximately 5 instances when the lights aren't working. seriously, what does CJ do with the money if BP doesn't pay for the lights? nothing else seems to have improved.. oh well.
i think that's about it. the rain made my day tonnes more exciting. heheh. sorry to my dear classmates who were, err, dampened by the day's happenings!
othello essay.
the mystery of the missing lit essay.
it was a boring tuesday late afternoon when mr alfred pang decided to give us an Othello essay. "how far does the context of war and soldiery contribute to the tragedy in Othello?" four pages. not typewritten.
okkkk. i thought. that can wait. two weeks and 5hours later, voila! after a few hours of hard work, inkless pens, and flipping thru the book (some pages for the first time in my life), i managed to produce (read: crap out) a five-page long essay! on a topic i have no idea about! heheh. i was pretty proud. my longest essay ever.
so, during a misty wednesday morning in CJC, i decided to finally hand in my work. along with ms nathan's PC work. yeap. they were two and three weeks late respectively. (hey, better late than.. well yknow..) yeah! by some weird coincidence, their mailtrays were only two boxes apart. 12 and 14. somehow, apparently, though im pretty sure i checked, i got the essays mixed up.
today, a week after the incident, mr pang tells me i handed in the PC essay to him. and ms nathan didnt get the Othello essay.
of course, knowing her, i think she just took it and lost it somewhere. mr pang told me to write another one for him. 5 pages!! hello!! like, hell no!!! haha. ok sorry. but seriously! it took me ages. i dont care. cheryl's on the hunt. i will find that essay if it kills me, cos writing it again certainly will. yess. the search is on. no stone will go unturned, no pidgeon hole will hold anymore pidgeons, no piece of paper will get away uninspected!
ok. i exaggerate. first thing tmr i'll......... go ask ms nathan again to search her desk properly. yesh, that's a good start ain't it?
so the mystery of the missing lit essay continues. the saga ensues. please stay tuned. will be back for more updates tmr. hopefully though, this silly story will end soon. i hafta hand in the rewrite by wed. oh please please please lemme find it!
-- to be cont.
the little girl.
the little girl.
the little girl was afraid
of ghosts and scary things.
the dark did nothing for her nerves,
she jumped when the telephone rang.
the little girl would hold out her hand
in hopes of clasping his.
though he teased her bout her childish fear,
his touch would bring her ease.
the little girl did not care
about love, or money, or hate.
all she knew was that he was there -
yet she did not believe in fate.
the little girl had simple dreams,
void of complications, free of taint.
she wanted that hand to be holding hers;
and with that she was content.
the little girl,
she never gave up.
"ten years, if you will,
twenty without luck."
oddities of the day
today was a decidedly odd day, by my own standards.
a little surreal, a little sense of escapism from reality.
do i force myself to grin and bear it
when all i can wonder is how you're doing?
somehow, there was a certain lack of sadness today.
odd, but good in a way.
although the sadness gave way to some sort of emptiness,
it made me think a lil clearer.
so firstly, sorry. its been selfish of me to keep making it seem as if you left me. to me it seems that way. but the reason behind it was my doing.
and even now, if you were to change your mind, i'm not sure i could change mine.
but i still somethingsomething you. don;t know why..
i promised not to force it on you.. but even now, i wish you wouldn't treat me different.
know the heart you made and then unfolded?
pretty symbolic of mine.
ooh too much da vinci code. hehe.
well there you go..
all the best for exams. :)
singapore bachelor
10 reasons why - Singapore can;t have "The Bachelor"
one. Everyone will be too busy lining up for the next Singapore Idol auditions.
two. The flower-giving ceremony would be - what - giving out orchids?
three. The Bachelor would have to say really lame stuff like, "I choose Rose Teo.. Rose, will you accept this orchid?"
four. The Bachelor would run out of places for "individual dates" (or group dates for that matter) in no time. Sentosa, Esplanade, uh.. Fort Canning Park, ahhh.. Ducky rides on the Singapore River??
five. No point having a kewl limo when you're gonna get stuck in a traffic jam every 3minutes..
six. Come to think of it, no point having a limo when's there ain't gonna be any heated backseat action. Remember the safety-belt rule? :)
seven. Err, hometown visits? "Hi, i'm so glad that you've made it all the way here, this is Ang Mo Kio. i really love this place.. the char kuay teow here is good.."
eight. People will sure complain if they have to give up an entire bowling alley for two ridiculous people to have a date.
nine. People might read it as "The Back Ache Lor". -_-"
ten. need i go on? hahahaha. ok i ran outta ideas yea? :)
shaun
hey :)
for starters, i'm not really doing fine..
i really miss talking to you.. and all that.
things are slightly better now (i think)
hope.. things wont be so awkward anymore?
"we can be friends"
haha. not so easy yea..
but i really wish we would.
no, no new guy, just me all alone.
my choice i gotta live with it yah..
you told me once u didn't believe in patching up..
hmm. in this case, i don't see it as very possible either.
i hope someday soon,
i'll be able to stop ignoring your existence!
well, but, just as friends;
as the cliche goes.
i know you can;t afford anymore heartache.
yup.
-sha.
missed missed missed!!!!
ooh, argh.
i missed him again.
maybe it all does have something to do with fate.
i mean, we used to be kinda fated, in a way.
haha.
and then fate leaves.
do i believe in fate?
i guess not.
but those were nice coincidences while they lasted.
haha.
here i am in a self-conflict again.
pardon me.
and i think you should forget whatever i said in the previous post,
cos i don't think i can do what i said.
i just can't.
she said it right
is it me, or does avril have an uncanny knack of saying things so aptly?
hahaha. thats my new favourite song, by the way. its an odd favourite song, cos it can make me cry! haha. but well. love it anyway.
been thinking. (yes...)
why are there so many sad, tragic love stories out there?
why is it always typically "he left me.."; "he didn;t feel the same way.."; "he fancies someone else.."?
yes, true, in most movies, there's always a happy ending. ugh. how totally untrue. i have to admit, after a whole series of Meteor Garden, i was actually living with some delusions for a few weeks. but that's over anyway. :P
when i mean out there, i mean in the real, teenage, hormone-driven world. (or about as real as it can get anyhow)
i find it so odd that so many people find themselves suffering for love. (myself inculded? hahah. maybe maybe.) isn't love supposed involve feeling happy etc.? evidently that's not all to it.
so the question: is it worth it to, so we say, suffer for love? excuse the dramatism; get to the main point. is this suffering all self-inflicted in a way? we can choose to give up, we can choose to let go, we can choose to move on. why don;t we? could we carefully refrain from heartaches til we're adults, til we have better things to worry about? (like what.. money? ridiculous, but sadly true.)
ok, in what i know is a horribly naive hypothetical sitatuation, let's assume these sappy love stories only occur in our teenage years. (adults, you may take this as a compliment if you wish :) would you, then, dodge Cupid's flying arrows all the way til you're, say, 40? or would you, (as i think i would) accept the love package - pain, joy, comfort, heartache, security, fragility and all?
and hey, i think i just answered my question.
we don;t choose to suffer for love, we choose love.
in that, comes the entire package. all or nothing, in other words.
still the question remains on why it seems that there seems to be a greater percentage of heartache in that elusive lil package called love.
ok, not for everyone, i admit. (for those who find that they do not understand a single word i've said - "what? heartache? huh?" - stop scratching your head and start thanking your gf/bf) still, i think theres a fine line between suffering for love and actually holding on too tight. that is what i call self-inflicted suffering. (again, me?) and that, obviously, cannot be very good.
so, basically, for lack of a better conclusion, if you think you're a S.F.L, (Sufferer For Love.. or Sucker..?) well, think about which side of the line you're on yea? it just might ease you alotta pain. in the long run, at least. (ooo econs. argh.)
well ok i'm done, S.F.L. (So long. Farewell. Later.)
my happy ending.
my happy ending. //avril lavigne
let's talk this over
its not like we;re dead
was it something i did?
was it something you said?
don't leave me hanging
in a city so dead
held up so high
on such a breakable thread
you were all the things i thought i knew
and i thought we could be
you were everything, everything that i wanted
we were meant to be, supposed to be
but we lost it
and all the memories, so close to me
just fade away
all this time you were pretending
so much for
my happy ending.
you've got your dumb friends
i know what they say
they tell you i'm difficult
but so are they
but they don't know me
do they even know you?
all the things you hide from me
all the shit that you do
it;s nice to know you were there
thanks for acting like you cared
and making me feel like i was the only one
it;s nice to know we had it all
thanks for watching as i fall
and letting me know we were done
you were everything, everything that i wanted
we were meant to be, supposed to be
but we lost it
and all the memories, so close to me
just fade away
all this time you were pretending
so much for
my happy ending.
disappointment
nahs, no one will know what i've been waiting for.
i don't even know what i've been waiting for.
its all been in my deluded mind.
he's moved on so fast
while here i am
stuck in the midst of pretty memories.
//there's a deep girl in the corner shop selling sugar for money in the dead of the night and her heart's in the sugar and her soul's in the mud and she's crying in the darkness for someone to love and she says look at me, see me. look at me, save me. look at me, find me; cos if there's somebody for someone, yea look at me// --somebody for someone\\the corrs
happy bday partner!
happy birthday
partner!!
not sure what we'll be doing later..
but haha happy bday anyway! :)
thanks for de whistle/keychain/super kewl thingy!!
heheh :P
well you're 21 now. *whee*
thanks for being like a wonderful big sister to me!
muacks! :P
love you,
hope we'll grow in Him together..
partner.
2moredays
i;m waiting...
in vain?
but do i really care?
haha.
nahs.
i'm an irritain', annoyin', clingy freak.
oh wells :X
2 more days.
yes yes :)
soon...
smoke + chicken
*thesis: ugh. i detest smoke.
*elaboration: UGH. i detest smoke from cigarettes.
*reason: it totally ruined my dinner today.
*supporting details: basically me gab and corn were having dinner when huge whafts of smoke came hurtling toward us and shrouded us in what could only have been the worst smell i have ever smelt since i naively took a whiff of ammonia in the chem lab two years ago. the long sentence should serve to let you feel the atmosphere of us having to hold our breaths to eat, not to mention how the food suddenly unexplicably tasted like crap possibly cos of the ugh-y smoke. didn;t dare to show much expression in case the old uncles (read: the source of pollution) got offended and decided to call all their backup to surround our table and puff smoke at us, or something like that.
*evaluation: its really lame if i die a second-hand smoker, much more lame if i die a second-hand smoker when the first-hand smoker looked as if he was gonna kill me, poor ole second-hand smoker, for objecting to his first-hand smoking. thus, i was praying that if i died, it would be cos of the KFC chicken - either bird flu or cholesterol - at least maybe PETA would pay to advertise my demise.
**conclusion: smoked chicken don't taste very good. not the S-11 style, anyway.
it began to slide..
*sigh*
31st july.
the day things started to slide.
i checked.
message history.
3moredays
ahhhhh.
3 days more.
how can days even last this long??
then again;
would it really make much of a difference..
maybe what i'm missing isn't purely physical.
hmm.
yea.
but hurry up anyway!
:)
4moredays
four more days.
that;s a pretty long time.
:(
quick quick.
yucks!!
umm. not that i'm blaming the sofa or anything.. but its seriously super duper ultra ugly now!! eewww! ok i suppose its not really my parents fault.. SIGH. its just.. like.. eeew. and its permanant. i'm gonna have to live with it for the next dunno how many years!! UGH.
they should've consulted us first, seriously. i mean, ahhhh.. i dont know why im so worked up over the sofa. maybe its cos its the ugliest thing in the entire house now!! and its the biggest thing in the entire house!! (well sorta)
ok for those of you, which is probably everyone except yvonne, who cannot catch up with my demented ramblings, heres the situation in a nutshell:
new sofa covers - dark green background with white flowers all over.. which i seriously couldnt tell were flowers.. they look like white spots. EWWW. its really........... sigh. indescribable.
so yes. i may be over-reacting. haha. but......................... sigh. what to do. mi yi jing zhu chen bai fan. (hehe. chinese shu yu i learnt - meaning the wheat has already been cooked into rice, for those who are mandarinly-challenged.. meaning the change is irreversible, for those intelligently-challenged)
okok sorry for being so mean. blame the sofa. urgh.
then again, maybe its cos im missing something else. arh. never mind.
the sofa's bad enough.
=(
argh! haha!
argh!
seriously! after i typed that post, there's been this mosquito flying round me for the past 2hours! and i cant kill it.. darn..
well anyway! i made some small, seemingly insignificant changes to my blog, but if u know me, its a great accomplishment!! hahaha. i actually took 2hours, yes.
aren't you proud 'o me steff? =D
almost, almost.
i almost got that darn mosquito;
i almost scored that goal.
i almost had that special someone;
i almost let him know.
i almost scored an A;
i almost won that prize.
i almost escaped unhurt;
i almost died in your eyes.
i almost did a pullup;
i almost knew the answer.
i almost made him smile;
i almost made it last awhile.
-*-
" almost.
one of the saddest words in life. "-quote fr joel goh zhu hui. >_<
sure enough, if you think abt it, how many almosts are there in your life? we may be proud of some of them; and regretful of others, but the world doesn't care. what matters is what you did, not what almost happened. li jia wei almost won that bronze. did it matter? well, possibly, but no 250k anyway. the world is all about getting, about winning, about scoring. there is simply no room for almost.
yet God sees, and he takes note! He doesn't look for results, He looks for sincerity. take heart in that =)
eggs eggs eggs
fried; scrambled; boiled; poached; sunnysideup; halfboiled; bullseye -
soon to be things of the past?
i went to eat hokkien mee last wed -
it was soooo soggy cos there was soooo little egg in it.
i had pasta for breakfast -
my mum used quail eggs instead of chicken eggs.
i went to eat lunch today -
the lady said to me : "girl, no eggs arh, replaced with french fries okay?"
in case anyone hasn't realised,
this could very well be the end of a certain variety of foods!
(eg. fried oyster; egg mcmuffin; plaster prata..)
scary thought, aye?
never thought we'd run out of eggs, but we have.
what next, i wonder.
will i ever taste a decent oluah again, i wonder.
to rewrite a famous nursery rhyme,
more suited for our era:
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the king's horses and all the king's men,
Paid a damn lot of money
To have him fried on a pan.
highhhhhhhhhhhh!
whee.
i'm on a picture high!
hahaa. shall not elaborate more..
in case i get anyone in trouble. ;P
but thanks to my sponsor.
heheh. X)
whee.
wheeeeeee!!
^_^
high on you.
can't you see?
can't you see?
i could never let you go.
can't you see?
i love you with my heart and soul.
can't you see?
you hurt me everyday.
can't you see?
i really wish you'd stay.
can't you see?
there's so much i'd do for you.
can't you see?
i'd give anything to start anew.
can't you see,
how much you mean to me?
i can't see;
why it has to be.