Roadkill, baby.

Tuesday, May 31

pain pain pain
today was a blur.
pain pain pain.
where love and hate collide.
ARRGH..

10:42 PM

cannonball
`
there's still a little bit
of your taste in my mouth
there's still a little bit
of you laced with my doubt
it's still a little hard
to say what's going on

there's still a little bit
of your ghost, your weakness
there's still a little bit
of your face i haven't kissed
you step a little closer each day
so i can't see what's going on

-
stones taught me to fly
love, it taught me to lie
life, it taught me to die
so it's not hard to fall
when you float like a cannonball
-

there's still a little bit
of your song in my ear
there's still a little bit
of your words i long to hear
you step a little closer to me
so close that
i can't see what's going on

-
stones taught me to fly
love, it taught me to cry
so come on courage
teach me to be shy
'cause it's not hard to fall
when you float like a cannonball
-

`damien rice / cannonball.

12:05 PM

Monday, May 30

empty street
i walk this empty street
on the boulevard of broken dreams.
i walk a lonely road, the only one
that i have ever known.
don;t know where it goes,
but it's home to me and
i walk alone.

&
today i strolled the streets
alone, with my purse in one hand
and the loss of your grasp
in the other.

today i walked alone
along the paths we used to trail
along the place we used to laugh
and smile, where we met and
played. once.

today i glance at my silent phone
again and again, waiting for
perhaps something to happen again.
but i guess not, i know but
i just wonder why.

today my heart burned
as saw every place we;d been
and every step you once took
with me. i remembered your smile
and i still love it.

11:42 PM

Sunday, May 29

insurance irony
y'know whats the most ironic thing in this world? insurance no-claim benefits.

so you pay the insurance companies so that if anything happens, they'll pay you. but then you try not to make them pay if anything happens so that you pay them less for paying you when something happens. how does that make sense, tell me? these insurance companies, tsk. most ironic statement : "oh, i can't claim my insurance lar, later they'll take away my no-claim benefit." so what the hell are insurances for in the first place?? weird. totally weird.

10:30 PM

Friday, May 27

the ninja stories.
episode 1 /
the adventures
of ninja cheryl :
the attack of the bigblackmoths.

about our heroine /
ninja cheryl can pack a mean punch, and we're not just talking about fruit juice here. she'll judo slam you if she so wishes, but more often than not she uses her voice to knock bad guys out in just about 5 seconds. (interpret that however you wish). she was once part of the powerpuff girls, but got kicked out before they became really famous, cos she wasn't as cute as the rest of them. armed with honeystars and koko krunch, our famous ninja is all ready to kick ass.

today;s episode /
it was a cold, damp night, and our weary heroine was scouring the alleys for signs of mischief, when two giant white eyes stared right back at her out of the wall. at least, they looked like white eyes. after readjusting her eyes to the dim glow of the streetlamp, she realised they were, in fact, NOT white eyes, but two white slits on the wings of what looked like a giant big black moth. hey, you giant big black moth! she shouted, trying to sound brave. she searched her expansive memory database for information on this new assailant. the swallowtail butterfly. ah. see stared with renewed suspicion at the creature in front of her. huh! swallowtail butterfly indeed! i don't care, its still a giant big black moth to me. "the attack of the swallowtail butterflies" wouldn't be as convincing anyways. as she was seriously pondering over the serious issue about what to name her next issue, she suddenly realised that there were alot more eyes staring at her. freak! its a giant big black moth attack! she thought frantically. just as she was beginning to feel like a pretty useless superheroine, seeing that it was pretty hard to judo slam a moth, and assuming that they were deaf so her voice wouldn't do much, she suddenly remembered that she had a packet of mothballs in her bag! (don't ask why, its a superheroine thing). now, i know what you're thinking - but no, she was not gonna attack them with their own, ahem, balls. they were mothballs, for goodness sake, you sicko. so anyway, with her superninjapowers and accuracy, she started throwing the powerful mothballs at the giant big black moths, and thinking it was a game of poison ball, (well, actually it was), the moths started dodging the balls, and because of that, they flew into each other, and because of that, they fell to the ground, and because of that, they died. ahhh.. welll.. NINJA CHERYL SAVES THE DAY AGAIN! :) well, the heroine was feeling rather exhausted after throwing all those mothballs, when she heard a rustle of wings. an even gianter, bigger, blacker moth appeared and she almost fainted. (but being a superhero, she had to act brave again). hey, you gianter, bigger, blacker moth! who are you? well at this point, the newly arrived moth starts breathing rather heavily - and our heroine starts to feel a sense of dejavu - hey, isn't this the script from.. but before she can finish, - "cheryl, i am your moth-..." //

/ to be continued.
tune in next week for more,
adventures with ninja cheryl!

p.s - we have to review the show's ratings to see if its worth continuing, so please, if you enjoyed it, give ninja cheryl a hug right over there >>>>

10:09 PM

Thursday, May 26

rugby
yay!
congrats to
CJ RUGBY who won
the plate champs today :)

rugby is a very violent game.
looks extremely painful.

anyways,
i being a retard today,
a very brave one at that,
and decided to cheer for
RAFFLES when we were
standing at the AC side.
hahah.

cause the no.15 guy
from RJ is damn cool can?

hurhur. X)
just a random thought.
is it me,
or did i see you
looking at me.
hmmm. lol.

gp tmr,
doesn't feel like it.
obviously cos i didn't
exactly study for it.
arrgh. so guilty now.
blahs.

anyway congrats
to shaun, joel and err,
the whole cj rugby team :)
you guys were gd.
didn't waste my afternoon
at least :)

the field was freakin muddy tho.
eeeyucks.

well, ta.
:)

10:50 PM

Wednesday, May 25

the lane
the lane they call
memory, well i'm walking
right down it again.
its a sad place. with happy
thoughts but nothing
concrete to go with it.
i see smiling faces, and when
i reach out to touch,
they pop like bubbles and i;m
left here all alone again
with the gaping silence.
i;m falling into memories of you.
but freak, i don't wanna
do that at all.
maybe you still can make me
go crazy, maybe i still think
you're hot. maybe it was something
i did, but i really don't know.
and i'm too freakin tired to
go thru this all over again.

10:48 PM

Tuesday, May 24

big black moths
holy crap!
there;s some big black moths all around these two days and they;re freakin me out man.
lets start with yday. was out with the canoeists and we saw this big black moth dead on the ground. they said it was supposed to be a spirit or something. ok, didn't think much about it then. then at night, there was one looking exactly like it at my house corridor! then this morning, there was one at the J block staircase, and one at the foyer. at night having dinner at TPY macs, there was one right outside the glass window. huge! by then was getting abit freaked out, having funny ideas about a moth stalking me. and then we started noticing the surrounding buildings and spotted about 5 moths altogether! gawd! damn weird! yea, so when we walked out, i was rather spooked and started looking around for more moths. guess what!?! i found about 10 perched in different places in the tiny space between 2 buildings.
so i've come to the conclusion that there's some moth migration thingy going on. that's the relatively un-scary reason. the other conclusion i don't really wanna mention. hmmm. freak, i;m damn afraid of a moth attack anytime soon. steffie says maybe i'm a moth queen in disguise and they're all my subjects awaiting my orders (or was that my idea?) anyway. that is so smallville-ish. heh.

its moth-ing time.

10:12 PM

Monday, May 23

crazy canoeists.
went out this morning,
came to one conclusion:
canoeists are crazy.*

*for further details, call the FBT warehouse.

5:42 PM

Sunday, May 22

i painted a picture
hey, i painted
a picture of you
today, it was full
of happiness,
but tinted in grey.

well, i ran out of
paint so i took out
my knife, cut my
little finger and
never felt so alive.

red and grey,
a colourless hue
the passion of the
artist, mixed with
memories of you.

still nothing else
can quite fill my
palette, than the
look in your eyes,
and they way my
heart melted.

the brush stiffens
and the painting
falls, and i stand and
look as desire calls.
will you paint me a
picture, a picture of me,
and then maybe
i;ll know what you see.

9:10 PM

i love cj
you know, as i go on my occasional boredom-spree bloghoppings, i read some stuff that kinda stirs up some emotion in me about cj. now, people ask me, why the hell are you in cj with 8 points? sometimes i think and i say, err, fun what. sometimes i say i don't know. sometimes i say cos of my friends. sometimes i also think, yah, why the hell am i there?

but now i;ve got the right answer. i stayed cause of the people. friends. classmates. maybe even teachers. hey, 1st 3months was fun and maybe that's why. then, you may add, why do you still occasionally hear me dissing my beloved school? well, i've got the answer to that too. its cause the cj i grumble about is there system, the school, the rules. not the students, the ccas, the people. sure, i find it retarded about the kneelength skirts and the constant blackouts. sure, its stupid that we have to pay for alot of stuff in cca that other schools pay for. but still, cj kinda grows on you.

i don't know, maybe its the fact that everyone looks down on us that makes us wanna do better. no one thought anything of cj until our girls got 2nd in cross country, until we got champs in judo, until our band came off with gold at SYF, until we came further than expected in so many other ccas. so bleah to you if you dare say that it was a fluke, if you dare express indignance at the results. we will, we will, rock you.

i'm really proud of everyone in every cca who did their best and went further than expected, or maybe even not. but it's a start. even though the school tends to revel in the victories and cast aside the losses, we all know you've worked hard. soccer, badminton, netball, volleyball, hockey, tennis and rugby (jiayou!). and many more. for canoeing and judo - we'll work even harder.

okay, i'm no cj fanatic, but i've come to realise - i kinda love that place.

8:43 PM

Friday, May 20

i'm sorry

i hate how i screwed up.

i hate how memories make my heart bleed.

Lord,

i'm sorry but

can you take my pain?

10:13 PM

sports day
hmm, today was sports carnival day!
we, t19, turned up in our red new class tees which kinda looked like some cheena kung-fu costume thingy, but not bad la, quite funkay. haha. well. we got overall second for the day, sian diao. just like last year. except this year we got a medal. well. think we could've gotten first if some stuff didn't screw up. like floorball - the freeking score was 2 - 1, not 2 - 2!! but hai, don't wanna argue with the the ref, who was xiaoan, or t14, cos of alvin. so yeas, sigh. kinda screwed up. then, 4x4 girls kinda wasted as well. netball... yada yada. but okay la :) guess it was fun screaming YAAMAAN at the end. hahaha. damn lame. oh yeah, me and tini found a cute guy in our junior class man. lols.

so after that we went to holland v,
and ate at thai express. thanks mr kwee for treating us :) yuuum. my pad thai was yummylicious. haha. and green curry rocks! :)) koon almost broke the bench, hahahah. and we kinda made alot of noise taking photos and stuff. lucky our shirts don't give any clues that we;re from CJ. hurhur.

then, we proceeded to tai's house.
FWWAH, is all i can say. freeeking big lah.
hahaha. we held a bball match and badminton match consecutively in his, err, frontyard? yeah, thats how big it is. plus its really nice and old-fashioned yet modern. hahah! i sound like i'm selling his house. but yah, its nice! cept there's a damn lot of dog fur on the floor, oweing to the fact that he has 3 huge doggies at home! haha. and yes, we can safely say he has no porn at home. (okay i'm sure you didn't really need to know that)

well that's that for the day.
tried to keep myself occupied / happy.
hmm, i guess only some ppl would realise i wasn;t really happy. but oh well. i don't need anyone to care, i only need you. which now i feel is bloody impossible. so cheers.
whee.

9:43 PM

Thursday, May 19

a fcukingly beautiful day.
i invented a new drink.
its called cheryl no. 1 -
can be gotten at CJC fruit juice stall at $1.50. well if you ask for that and the aunty gives you a blank look, maybe try mango-lime ice, and you'll get the most heavenly drink on earth. cheers.

well everyone,
since i;m in a terribly good mood,
drinks on me tomorrow.
okay, so meet me at the water cooler behind the grandstand at CCAb.

what a ~~fcukingly~~
beautiful day it is.
the rain, the totally confusing S paper lesson, the unstarted econs essay, the missed training, the i;m-gonna-fall-sick-any-minute feeling, THE SCREAMING SILENCE.

screw love,
screw falling into that again.
i think i fell too fast,
and therefore too hard. higher velocity, greater force. or whatever.

beginning to feel infinitely stupid again.
lets see, 18/30 for econs mcq, 8/25 for essay, 53.5 for gp mock.
what a way to go.
i got lotsa things to do, oh my gawd.

don;t wanna think about you, think about me.

hold me now,
i;m 6 feet from the edge
and i;m thinking
maybe 6 feet ain;t so far down.

and what if i don't have you?
the world doesn't stop spinning,
the sun continues to shine,
people go about doing their stuff,
and so do you.
what if i don't have you?
my world ~~doesn't~~ revolve around _____.

i see your face with every breath i take.

7:38 PM

Tuesday, May 17

and then maybe
the night called in
the final hues of sunset,
and suddenly my world
went melanchony black
nothing but a gaping silence
- and then maybe.

my heart will sing
when you be the one
to reach in and hold it,
but now, nothing but
a gaping silence
- and then maybe.

the rain unabashedly falls
the drops, they sting
but still they hide my tears
and who can tell, really,
once the storm;s over
- and then maybe.

10:35 PM

Monday, May 16

pullup countdown
hey!
i got exciting news man.
i can do 1 and 7/8 pullups!
haha ok we shall count that as ONE. my target would be 4 by the end of this year. SO the CPC (or, Cheryl Pullup Counter) begins now.
hahaa. almost there baby.
ONE!
ONEE!
ONEEEE!!

"yo mama is so dumb, that when she asked me what brand of jeans i was wearing, i said Guess, and she said Levis" - off the 2t02 whiteboard, man. hahaha.

"yo mama is so dumb, that she puts lipstick on her forehead to make up her mind." - again, from the same source. haha. funny. kept me entertained for awhile during S paper.

"blackcurrant = black voltage divided by black resistance" - mr jerome yeo. who else man?

7:25 PM

Sunday, May 15

me loves!
jellybeans & bubblewrap
`
peachy yoghurt & rollerbladin
disney-on-ice & wishes-come-true
swedish meatballs & hugs *
glitter & gummybears
toysRus & punk rock
`euchre & christmas candycane
creme brulee & mudpie
vintage adidas & durian flo *
fruity lipgloss & dirtballs
popdoh & starstudded earrings`
heatstroke & rockafellaskank
` kinder bueno & tissue
snow bunnies & firewire
*
telly & 34.50
hershey;s kisses & makeshift stalls *
tigger & fluffy clouds
` me & whatever.

5:25 PM

this is a story
this is the story
of a girl -
who cried a river
and drowned
the whole world.

and while she
looks so fine
in photographs,
i absolutely
love her -
when she smiles.

how many days
in a year ;
she woke up
with hope but
she only found tears.
and can i be so
insincere -
making the promises
never for real.

this is the
story of a girl -
whose pretty face
she hid from
the world,
and while she looks
so sad and lonely
there,
i absolutely love
her, when she
smiles.

how did we wind
up this way?

5:12 PM

Friday, May 13

13th
friday the thirteenth.
say what you will,
there has to be some truth in the age-old unlucky superstition.

don't believe,
ask lulu and many.
lulu : broke two glass panes, CJ badminton lost to AJ unexpectedly, lost his precious wallet.
many : got caught by karen ho, ran a not-so-gd 2.4.
yeah ok, maybe we're just being paranoid.
anyways i think i wasted my entire afternoon doing absolutely nothing at the grandstand. wows. haha. hello, we're j2 man. can someone make me go study pleaseee?
err yeah, sian diao. got to go for some econs quiz thingy at NUS. the teacher who went thru the fund management questions (and took 1h for 10qns, no less) was damn annoying. i put my head down for 2 seconds and he asks me to wake up. he squeezes his face up into some weird contortion when trying to think of how to say something. (and says "how do i say this?" along with it) he breathes like damn freeking loudly, i think darth vader would have to bow to him. yeah la. i was just really annoyed. so.. zzzz.
anyway if u see t19 now, we've got 3 broken glass panes in one column. for the record, i broke one of them. hur. no details. lucky unlike lulu, there was no one there to see it. cos evidently news spreads real fast in cj. like wildfire. there must be some link to the flame. okay nvm. BRRRR COLD. hahaha. this is a stupid post.
to end off,

why did the car travel faster than the bicycle?

cos the bicycle was two tyred. X)

10:38 PM

Thursday, May 12

cut
apparently,
pain has no bounds.
i never knew it could cut
this deep.

cheers.

i fell in love
with the boy at..

7:32 PM

Wednesday, May 11

by keane.
keane.
somewhere only we know.

i walked across an empty land
knew the pathway like the back of my hand
i felt the earth beneath my feet
sat by the river and it made me complete

oh simple thing where've you gone?
i'm gettin old and i need somethin to rely on
so tell me when you're gonna let me in
i'm tired and i need somewhere to begin

i came across a fallen tree
i felt the branches of it looking at me
is this the place we used to love?
is this the place that i've been dreaming of?

and if you have a minute, why don't we go
talk about it somewhere only we know
this could be the end of everything
so why don't we go
somewhere only we know.

why don't we.

7:27 PM

Monday, May 9

music makes the world go crazy
hey everyone,
meet my baby.

* snazzle me pink, sweetheart.

haha, ain;t she pretty. thank you daddy for queueing up and braving stampedes and spending money on OSIM stuff and getting your car scratched for this. muacks! :) and dear mummy, happy mother's day! i love you. :) alot alot alot.

its been awhile,

since love has been reciprocated.

much less rejected.

she's not herself anymore.

7:19 PM

Thursday, May 5

this is what i wanna say
you know that feeling;
that twitch in your heart,
that skip of a beat.
so slight maybe you missed it,
but it left you breathless all the same.

you know that song;
about how she will be loved,
well i like to believe its true -
and when i look into your eyes,
i guess i do.

you know that fear;
the one that keeps us chained,
sure, i'm hanging on the edge,
but if you hold my hand
i don't mind letting go instead.

you know that rhyme;
that says everything will
work out in time?
i think they're lying,
and well, i'm going outta my mind.

you know that touch;
that tingle in the air,
that pretty split-second sensation,
brushing past right there -
too little, too late.

you know that thing;
about saying what you want?
well, i can't seem to do it,
maybe i'm too afraid to try
or maybe, just maybe,
i simply wanna know why.

8:31 PM

Wednesday, May 4

thoughts to think about
* war is never about beliefs,
its simply about power.

* the way orlando bloom says "truly"
is truly gorgeous.

* kings move men,
but a man moves his own sword.

* kill, or be killed.

* the man behind the iron mask
was greater than all who forced him behind it.

* if everyone truly knew God's will,
there would be no disagreements.

* you kept me guessing
and now i'm destined to spend
my time missing you.

i almost wished you would've
loved me too.

9:25 PM

Tuesday, May 3

TIREEDD
hey!
haha. training was cancelled today,
well dojo training at least, cos some other ppl hadta use the audi. so we had PT! i rather enjoyed it more cos at least i can do more stuff than at gi training where my knee hurts after awhile. okay granted, running and hopping ain't good for me, but okay la. run, pain, jump, pain, recover. haha. shiok la do PT at the new PAC. i will never have fond memories of that place ever. hah! no la. sooo. did some interesting stuffs. renjun is right.. the weather is ALWAYS good for PT. cos before PT it looked like it was gonna rain, but when time to start suddenly daaaamn sunny. and then, just when we ended it began to pour. dear God, can you not favour judo soooo much? hahaha. xie xie. well, i'm in a better mood i guess. being around people helps, and also well. i dunno. just no point thinking too much i guess. and no basis to. sooo. yeah im good. damn hot sweaty and stinky now but feeeelin not baad. hur. =]

7:32 PM

Monday, May 2

hurt
words like hurt, broken, torn, lost, frustrated, sad, depressed, confused should have been left behind when i let it go. so why've they resurfaced again. this is f-king lame.

10:16 PM