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Monday, January 24
gripes. sigh.
suddenly in a whiny mood /
feel like i have alot of things to gripe about.
i feel sad about dropping lit,
realised after looking at the book again that i kinda like it alot. sigh. why must i have to choose between my class and my subjects? i find that so unfair. and i wonder if i made the right choice. but i really like my classmates. hai. but i miss lit. and i wonder what it'll do for my future. who am i asking? God, maybe. God, is this what You want for me? i suppose you will lead me, whatever i do. heh. yay.
i saw someone 7 times today,
without even meaning to. and in close proximity.
omgggg.. who is doing this to me. its torture. i find that so unfair. most people would know its not me to like someone, so to speak, for this long. its madness. why can't i have what i want? does persistence not pay? i suppose not. on the contrary.. well. on the contrary.
i feel stupid. i can't qualify for math and physics S papers. should i go appeal? i really wanna take 2 S papers. i'm dumb. grrr. triple A? BAH. all nonsense.
i need to study more. and do everything else more.
got 3 tests this week, gotta catch up on j1 work, gotta learn numerical methods, gotta get my knee to heal, maybe see doctor, gotta practice for X-ctry, gotta get well to train for that SCARY judo comp, gotta buy my sister's present, gotta play starcraft, gotta write to my bruddy more, gotta write to EVERYONE more, gotta plan for BAY progs?, gotta do, gotta do, gotta learn to forget things..
and haha, after thinking about it, plus everyone's very nice encouragement, i don't hate myself that much anymore. i am who i am. (ok that sounds like what God said) but yea. i am. =) rock on. haha.
i am a screwed up girl.
hahahaha. love me?