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Sunday, October 3
singaporean scenario
after reading yet another copy of 8days, i realised Singaporeans either have damn low self-esteem, or we just enjoy dissing ourselves. afterall, what better way to cover up inadequacies than by exposing them, eh?
so lets see.. in a typically Singaporean scenario;
on a rather crowded SBS bus, on a hot, humid friday afternoon.
of course, the heat and humidity mostly substantiate from the sweaty bodies of the people on the bus, rather than the weather, bcos i mean, how many non-aircon buses are there these days?
so yes, back to the scene.
me, who has just had a gruelling day in school, miraculously finds seat.
now, this miraculously found seat is admittedly not doing much for my headache, bcos i am facing the right of the bus, and moving forward at the same time, very much like a crab on wheels. but anyhow, a seat's a seat.
right now, i am thinking: thank goodness i'm sitting on the left side, so the entire bus can see my right side profile, which i think looks better than the left. =P naaaaah!
actually, i am consciously pretending to sleep, like that rude guy in the courteousy campaign ad, bcos a have a splittin headache and will not under any circumstances give up my miraculously found seat. or, look at it this way, i am really sleeping bcos i have a splittin headache, and bcos of that, am unable to see the old auntie in front of me whom i should give up my seat to.
just when i am toying with the idea of actually being the nice girl that i am - underneath that splittin headache, of course - the girl beside me makes a gesture to stand up and offer her seat to the lady.
i quickly pretend to sleep again. (hey, headache, ok? hahah.)
girl, trying to get up: aunty, ni yao zuo ma..
aunty, pushing her back down: aiyo, bu yong la, bu yong..
girl, trying again: ke shi, aunty, wo shi yao...
aunty, refusing to let her move: bu yong la! aunty hai ke yi zhan de..
girl, this time rather desperately: aunty, zhen de..
aunty, now also getting rather pissed: girl, wo gen ni jiang bu yong le..
now, me, at this time, has given up the pretence of sleeping and is now very engrossed in the scenario playing beside me. i think to myself: has this girl been given an overdose of moral ed lessons, or are they secretly shooting a courtesy ad or something?
at this thought, i unconsciously smoothen down my hair, but that's besides the point. i mean, if they are shooting an ad, won't i be playing the part of the ugly-Singaporean-who-pretends-to-sleep-so-as-not-to-give-up-my-seat? now that is bad. however, as it turns out, that is also not the point.
beside me, the saga ensues.
aunty, who has now began ranting on young people these days who look down on elderly folk: xian zai de nian qing ren ah....
girl: aunty, wo..
aunty: ..bu yao xiao kan wo men..
girl: excuse me, aunty..wo yao..
aunty: ...xiang dang nian ah, mei you she me bus ah, m-ah-t (MRT) ah...
girl, now really annoyed: aunty, wo gang gang miss wo de stop eh..
aunty: ha? -recovers from shock- haiyo, xian zai de nian qiang ren ah.. yao she me dou bu hui kai kou de..
girl: ..... -_-"
me: ..... -_-"
*just for the record, all characters are fictional, and resemblence to any persons dead or alive (including myself) is purely coincidental. =)