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Thursday, September 30
help. help.
oh dear..
everything is so messed up.
i wanna have someone and yet i don't.
its a whole web of complicated stuff
that i don't even wanna touch.
i need something..
i need someone..
i am
terribly
lost.
mr kwee's poem
Crystals, i adore.
Happily, i admire.
Emeralds, i applaud.
Rubies, i appreciate.
Yes, but the one i really prize,
Life, my idol i forever cherish.
ok, thats the poem that kwee wrote for me. he wrote one for every single person in class, and i admittedly am rather impressed. hahaha. i din know his engreesh was sho power. i told him that, he said he has just been hiding his skills all along. rrrigght. what was that "convidence" all about eh? hahaha. oh well. i applaud him anyway.
today mr ho said something really lame, which i just have to share with all of you. now, ordinarily, i would not share any of his lame stuff cos its really too crappy to put down.. but this.. well.
sec x
_______ = se x
c
haha. ok never mind. i found it damn funny. hehheh. ok anyway. his is pretty annoying cos he was supposed to release us at 1145, but in the the we ended only at 1250, his final words being: "i always like to be on time.." ahhhh. right right. im sure.
so anyway! today at the tables outside the lib, while waiting for shawn and mr pang, i sat opposite my j2 shuai ge! wahahaz. didn't realise it for awhile. whee hee. X) he's really quite cute. lol! i will not mention names in case.. well.. i dunno. but just in case. hahaha.
yeah so like i said, today was supposed to end at 1145, but ho kept us back for an hour more, then me and shawn had to see nathan for, err, tips, for PC.. which were definitely, shall we say, useful. haha. she took about an hour. after that hadta see mr pang.. which took another two hours. lets just say, three people in one seminar room which smells like it hasnt been aired since the stone age (which, i highly suspect is the case) is not a pleasant two hours. heh! haha. ok he's not bad la, its the smell, i tell you. so basically i ended up leaving school at 4. la dee dah. hello?!?! isnt that like normal school day!?!?
well imma study with sherman now. i think im late. heheh. sorry! i might update when i come back. i have this feeling im missing out something. kk. chow, for now.
speaking of which, chow is gone! argh. =( i will miss him and his i-just-woke-up hairstyle!
Wednesday, September 29
funki-licious!
funki-licious!
i am groovin'; i am shakin'.
hahah. and i have no idea what that was about.
i ammmm... feeling very weird... haha..
on one hand.. its better to give it up..
that way you will actually talk to me...
on the other hand.. well, you are hard to forget, yes?
haha. and i say this in the best way possible.
i'm slowly letting go, mind you..
so don't hate me for it.
smiles.
this is my 100th post!
*OOOOH* hahaha. dont this call for some kinda celebration or other?
well.. actually, just goes to remind me why i started this blog in the first place.. hahaa. ah well. i kinda like it actually. =)
Tuesday, September 28
his cheeseburger
just found the lyrics to my favourite-test veggietales song! hahaha. its really super funny. go d/l (oops i did not say d/l) it if you can.
love songs with mr. lunt:
his cheeseburger.
He said to her I'd like a cheeseburger
And I might like a milkshake as well
She said to him, "I can't give you either"
And he said, "Isn't this Burger Bell?"
She said, "Yes it is, but we're closed now,
But we open tomorrow at ten."
He said, "I am extremely hungry,
But I guess I can wait until then."
Cuz you're his cheeseburger
His yummy cheeseburger
He'll wait for you. Ya!
He'll wait for you.
Oh, you are his cheeseburger
His tasty cheeseburger
He'll wait for you
Oh, he will wait for you.
He stayed at the drive-thru till sunrise
He may have dozed off once or twice
When he spotted a billboard for Denny's
Bacon and eggs for half price!
How could he resist such an offer?
He really needed something to munch
Cheeseburger, please do not get angry
He'll eat and be back here for lunch!
Cuz you're his cheeseburger
His precious cheeseburger
Be back for you.
He'll be back for you.
Won't be so long, cheeseburger
Oh, lovely cheeseburger
Be back for you
Oh, he'll be back for you.
Cuz he loves you cheeseburger with all his heart
And there's nothin' gonna tear you two apart
And if the world suddenly ran out of cheese,
He would get down on his hands and knees
To see if someone accidently dropped some cheese in the dirt
And he would wash it off for you
Wipe it off for you
Clean that dirty cheese off just for you!
You are his cheese ... burrrr ... grrrrr!
whee hee!
lalalala!
haha.. it doesnt take a genius to guess why im so happy!
well.. at least if you're in CJ you should know why la..
tmr, got SPA but other than that no school.
thurs, school up to 11.45 only. ok maybe later cos got lit.
fri, no school!!!
whee hee!!
hahaha. just this morning i was complaining to my mum
and in a very super bad mood cos i was ending so late everyday
and had no time to do anything.
and then!!! hahaha. yay. i was super happy.
God answered my prayer ok. heheh.
yes, i actually prayed tt BP would miraculously change the timetable.
and thus, the day was great,
although i did (and still do) have a headache.
argh. well.......
i miss shufang!! hahahah. yessa, i do.
im just so bored without her. ok, not saying you're boring, marcus..
but.. yknow.. u hafta STOP LAUGHING!!! hehh.
well shufang i hope u arent too bored too..
i will not attempt to call you in case u refuse to put down again..
heheh. =P
umm. what else?
im trying to figure someone out.
its.. hard.. lol. but its okay.
i am patient.
you are doctor.
haha. ok never mind.
LOLX.
Monday, September 27
GP promos
GP was okay, right?
yeah.. i think so. i mean, do-able?
probably not the best cos i didn't get to finish up my AQ.
sigh! on the whole, the general feeling was good.
then again, not entirely reliable, my feelings.
haha anyway.
life is getting boring, mundane..
but its okay.. i'll just bear with it for the next few weeks.
ummm. everyone's trying to beat me at GP.
hahaha. its funny.
will i be very xia sway if they do.. heheh.
maybe!!! so, well we'll see yea?
that stupid shufang got 25/25 for her econs mock MCQ.
i mean, who on earth gets 25/25 man?!?!
then again, she did have like 2h to do her MCQ cos she didnt do her case study at all. ok she did like 2 qns. and she still managed to get 11/30, AO pass.
that freak.. ahaha.
me on the other hand.. did quite not bad lah.
nothing as good as full marks. 22 for both. pretty contented la.
k chow, gotta bathe.
gab, i'll beat you the next time. 2:3 is quite close ma. hahah.
Sunday, September 26
happening day!
hahahaha.
lotsa weird things going on around here!
okay, although this isnt meant to be funny.. but it is simply bcos it happened to shufang.. hahaha. ok, well, she got chicken pox like today. yep. and the exams span a total of two weeks from tmr onwards, exactly the time she has to be quarantined. now, ordinarily, i'd be feeling extremely sympathetic toward such an unlucky soul, but its shufang!!! hahaha. its so HER!! oh man! when she told me that, i was like.. why am i not surprised.. heheh. ok sorrry shufang. you poor thing. heheheh. =P
so promos officially start tmr. GP paper. been getting msges going along the lines of: "guys this is what we've been studying for! promos are here! all the best!". haha. thanks to those who sent them. i never really thought of it as that impt until now. THANKS FOR MAKING ME START TO PANIC. hahaha. like yeah right. i am not an exam-panicky person. i hardly worry for exams, even though i know im gonna fail or something. hahaha. is that good or bad, i haven't exactly figured out. what i do know is, i am not feeling very worried about tmr, albeit the fact that i haven't studied much for it. hahaa. i am not trying to scare anyone here. just trying to justify, in the future, my possible low GP grades. yes, derek, you might beat me. haha. okok. i will try and study now. i mean. try and get it into my head that the paper's tomorrow. *knock knock pound pound shake shake* there, almost done.
i dont think i have time to finish studying math, econs, phy and lit. especially physics. haha. sorry mr low. lau. alvin. =) umm. yes. what i am actually worried about is what i am gonna do after promos, bcos i happen to have this thing called NYAA which i havent even start on at all. am i dead or what? someone save me. i need the stupid grey diary thingy.
today was midautumn festival in church! thank God it went well! no rain, free lightning effects, big crowd and cute kids. if only it rained mooncakes. =)
abby// hope you're feeling better. love you k?
Saturday, September 25
continued ramblings..
capital punishment or not?
justice or moral integrity?
casino or not?
economic success or social well-being?
war or not?
total dictatorship or total chaos?
homosexuality or not?
moral compromise or narrow minded-ness?
God or not?
live or die?
heck!
ah, what the heck!
how long can one live in oblivion?
i don't know, but im gonna try.
haha.
i woke up this morning very cheery,
for some reason or other.
in fact, i dont know what reason it could possibly be.
i went to sleep very un-cheery, actually.
well anyway.
i was so cheery i actually msged a few ppl,
who i haven't msged in awhile,
cheery good morning msges!
haha.
if im happy and i know it..
im gonna clap my hands.
how long can one live in oblivion?
i don't know, but im gonna try.
Friday, September 24
again?
today seems to come with a high frequency of posts.
haha. perhaps im just bored. nah, more like hurt?
im not supposed to be, im not supposed to care. right..?
argh. the null period seems to be over.
the cycle's beginning all over again - just that this time,
you aren't here to tell me how hard it is for you too.
im not doing this to myself, i swear...
traimisuit, sister, me, lydia. =) 
i love this pic! heheh. so cuuuuuute. =P
me, weekie, derek.
and that, folks, is what we were doing on tchers day.
we were rockin', but the sweat was rollin'.
it was that hot.
decidedly odd
today was a decidedly odd day, come to think of it.
we talked. a little. nice? weird? i dunno. thing is, it can't be the same.
----
i'm not exactly sure how i'm feeling these days! no more a rush of strong emotions; well, maybe occasionally. yet somehow i know i haven't really let you go? given up the outward, showy love, to settle for something much more contented, yet maybe silently posessive.
and that, was crap.
unless you understand.
haha.
tom yam
my boyfriend's name is tom.
his last name is yam,
and he's hot.
Thursday, September 23
done. sigh!
=)
anyway. i just redid my lit essay. its about 2pages shorter than the original, but what the heck, i did it in less than 2h! haha. yeah basically i decided i couldnt hope any longer. sigh. mr pang came to my class to find me can.. what to do.. hehs. well its done. if this one gets lost too, well, either someone's out to get me or he's secretly in love with my handwriting. hey, if that's true, steal my PC essay for all i care! lay off Othello!
Wednesday, September 22
argh. pleeease.
so basically, i haven;t found my lit essay yet, cos ms nathan was sick on friday and monday and i was sick yday.. and today i couldnt find her. oh please please please have my essay? =/
everyone please pray for me! heh. i mean. its seriously the thing that worries me most now. argh. no fun no fun. please find please find. ok im getting incoherent. you get the drift. heeeeeelp!
oh, the dumb search page is still there. hello? a lil help please.
Tuesday, September 21
yali, shan, me.
questions unanswered
what do i do?
what can i do?
where do i run?
where do i hide?
what should i treasure?
what if i died?
who should i trust?
who should i love?
who can i love?
when will it end?
when will i know?
why are there so few?
why am i here?
why is the sky so blue?
why am i so lost without you?
Monday, September 20
wild wild world
"oh, baby, baby, it's a wild world." --mr big.
wassup;
saturday. approx 11am. behind CJC canteen.
i witnessed a wassup. two, in fact. should i say i'm lucky or what? hahah. it was interesting but kinda sick. for those who don't know what a wassup is, ask any SJI guy, i won't go into details. basically, it was this guy's bday as usual, and they were doing their thing when this other guy threw a shoe on his you-know-what.. and it hurt a damn lot. so everyone scolded that guy.. i quote.. "a wassup is supposed to look painful, but not actually be painful". well anyway. then everyone went to wassup that guy. and that's how i got two for the price of one. in any case, as far as i could tell, julia was having the most fun. she was filimg the entire thing, and wassup-ing the guys as well. she rawks man.
wedding;
saturday. 2.30pm. bethesda church bukit arang.
ivan's and agi's wedding! haha. it was kewl.. hungarian translations and all. hehs! although, looking at the wedding photos from hungary, i'd say it was tons more fun there. haha. anyway, agi looked like a ms universe contestant! plus the brains, of course. ah ah. terrible me. i shall not stereotype. anyway, yknow, she spoke in hungarian for awhile.. and it reminded me of those european beauty queens who needed translators to answer the questions. haha. well yes. then the dinner. at the Hilton, no less. sadly, it didnt really live up to its standard. Paris Hilton's extravagance must've taken its toll on the family business. anyway, it was kinda fun. haha. serene got drunk..... or high. or, more friendly, as she termed it.
wine;
saturday. 8.30pm. the Hilton.
70 crates of imported wine, so i heard. 6 glasses out of those 70 crates went into serene's tummy. hahaha. ok i shall not embarass you. basically she was a lil high, not very drunk. was smiling to nothing in particular.. and yada yada. quite interesting. hahaha. joel and smellyman kept teasing her. anyway. nick was worse. i quote. "eh, you're quite drunk eh.. do you realise you're not wearing anything?". hahaha. he's damn funny. ok. enough enough. the wine was good, i admit. but then again, i wouldn't really know.
washroom;
monday. dunno what time. CJ E-block level 5 washroom.
guys' washroom, to be exact. ok, i'm not sure if its E block la. what block are we on anyway?? doesn't matter. what happened was, julia kong (yeahs, the one who was wassup-ing ppl) also happened to go into the guys' washroom at this particular time! well, marcus was inside, at that particular moment, peeing. thus, when he heard julia's voice, he was thinking: "why is her voice so loud ar?", when he realised tt she was in the toilet. and therefore, when i stepped into class, i could hear weekoon trying to console marcus. hahaha. i think he feels a lil violated although he doesn't wanna admit it. anyway, when i heard abt it, my first question was, "marcus, are you pissed?".
weakness;
tuesday. 6.04am. my bedroom.
woke up with a bad cold and cough today, no idea why. i was fine yday! anyway, yeahs, i didn't go to school. went to the doc at around 11plus, and that was where a real dumb thing happened. see, there's this cupboard on the wall, above the magazine rack, which i have never noticed all these years. my powers of observation fail me, sometimes. anyway. yeah. i was trying to take a magazine when i bumped my head against the cupboard. and bumped is an understatement. the crash was damn loud, and the two receptionists there were very shocked and kept asking me if i was ok. honestly, i wasn't. it was freekin pain. but i was trying to not look like the idiot that i had just made myself to be, so i sat down and pretended to read the mag. anyone who looked carefully would realise i was pretending simply bcos it was a chinese mag. yeah anyway. i think they told the doc abt it, or he heard the crash, cos when i went in he helped me check my head too. i quote. "how come can hit one? my clinic open 12 years nobody ever hit before leh.." well, i just smiled weakly. yeah. he told me not to rub it, not to do anything with it, and if i vomitted or felt giddy, go back and see him. i felt like saying, "don't worry doctor, i won't sue you lah." well yeah. basically i spent my whole day watching the Emmys that my sis helped me tape, and sleeping. just woke up, in fact.
whatever;
everyday. from this time forth. wherever.
i will not care. i am not hurt. i am not sad. i am just a lil empty. a lil wistful. (ah, another w). i think i can finally give it all up. but there are no substitutes, rest assured. then again, i care abt what you think. hmm. this whatever only extends halfway. i guess you could be proud of me? this is what you've always wanted anyway.
who?
what?
where?
when?
me.
rambling.
here.
now.
Friday, September 17
rainbow
all the colours of the rainbow.
and more!
X)
funfunfun day =)
hey! what's going on in your lives? exams? PW? studying? slacking? haha. for me, its basically PW and studying. ugh. ugh ugh. i so hate PW. its just super lame. hahaha. but my grp is quite fun =P
newaes, went to study with sherman at the study room at my condo's clubhouse. seriously, i didnt even know there was a study room til he told me. and he doesnt even live here. anyway. he said its very quiet one.. but when we went there.. ummm.. there were two china girls who were talking really loudly! ok la, but at least they're not very annoying. then there was this small china boy with his mum, they were doing math sums.. and the small boy kept scolding his mum for reading it wrongly.. and his mum scold him back.. but it wasnt the violent kind. haha. i dunno. was kinda sorry for the mum, annoyed with the boy. well whatever. i managed to finish all my application of differenciation tutorials.. except two qns.. sigh. which i dunno how to do!! argh. yeps.
today, met yali, khim and shifu with shan.. woaaa.. damn fun. haaha. i haven't laughed so much since.. really long ago! man.. hahaa.. it was just damn funny. i bet LJS were glad when we left though, cos we were shocking all their customers away.. hahaha. we just sat there and talked.. saw pinyue also.. and then.. wenta take neoprint. haha. second neoprint this year! amazing huh. anyway. it was kinda screwed up what whatever.. haha. quite fun. yeah.. shaln't elaborate. haha. ok i just did. heheh. not in a very literary mood today.
speaking of lit. heh. i STILL haven't found the darn essay. im gonna cry. there is seriously NO WAY i am rewriting it. no way no way no way!!! hehs. please ms nathan, find it find it! well. PC was kinda, sick today. no, ms nathan wasnt there.. she was sick. but we did this poem called 'Funeral Blues' by W.H Auden, and we were supposed to do a parody on it. basically, the poet is gay and he's lamenting the loss of his gay partner. so we decided to write the new one from the perspective of his gay partner who doesnt really like him. ok, yeah, lame. it was extremely sick man. i dont even wanna go into details. u can ask shawn if u want. haha. k yups.
basically, im gonna study with sherman again soon. just gotta go and bathe.. yeah.
oh today was interesting. haha. i was walking along the corridor from the staircase.. and someone walked out of the toilet. we smiled. haha. kinda weird, but at least things are better now.
ok, so. for those who have actually made it to the end, chow!
ugh. i gotta do PW. ugh. econs test tmr. ugh. not replying me. =(
Wednesday, September 15
nothing, really
i can't seem to find the strength
to feel mad/pissed/angry/despaired.
have i grown so used to it
that i've begun to take it in my stride?
does it work to return apathy with apathy?
good/bad?
the negativity may not be there,
but the hurt still surfaces at times.
ah well.
all i can say is i don't care
i love you.
Tuesday, September 14
a vote - haircut? no?
the polls are running.
please tag the tag board if you're bored.
what to vote for?
should i or should i not get a haircut?
yup.
toll-free.
just vote
:)
my day as it was
well well well.
today was an interesting day, to say the least.
full of obscure, quirky, funny events that made the day a lil brighter.
hahah! i think God does have his ways of answering prayer. hehe. so He didn't shorten my timetable/make me sick so i could go home (oops).. so what?
well anyway, shall i bore you with the details?
haha i think i shall. it will be random, no doubt, cos i'm just gonna write what i think of. no essay outline here.
ok! first things first.. the mystery of the missing lit essay continues to be a mystery. however, detective cheryl has made some teenyweeny progress. she got down to asking ms nathan to please check her pile of papers, which she said were at home. so. *faint glimmer of hope* haha. i mean. *ahem* the detective has followed up the lead well. now to wait for results.
next. if anyone still naively thinks that rain only pours down vertically, you are so so wrong. ask anyone in my class. ask anyone in the adjoining three classes, in fact. what really happened? i dont know. i think the wind was freekin strong and it blew the rain right past the shutters into the class. into 3/4 of the class. which is quite a feat, considering the class is pretty huge. lucky for me, i am slighty more than 3/4 of the classroom away from the threatening windows. yeaps :) hehe. and so i sat there and laughed (it was pretty hilarious) as my poor ole classmates looked forlornly at their drenched worksheets, wet books, even wetter tables, and flooded chairs. okok. my chair was wet too. happy? haha. seriously! a mini flood, right in our classrooms! we spent most of chinese lesson hanging the stuff to dry, mopping the floor, drying the tables and chairs (with a PE tshirt, no less).. and yada yada. heheh. how's that for an interesting day?
well.. before that, we just ended physics lect, and we were in LT1 cos our next math lect was also there. so i was drawing some shades on ganesh's picture of himself (which, obviously, resembles a dracula) when the lights went out! at first i thought the teacher turned it off.. then we heard the BOOOOM. and everyone went "ohhh..". naturally! CJC >> thunderstorm >> blackout. heck, sometimes we don't even need the thunderstorm! i bet everyone's used to blackouts by now. since i;ve been here, i've experienced 3 blackouts and approximately 5 instances when the lights aren't working. seriously, what does CJ do with the money if BP doesn't pay for the lights? nothing else seems to have improved.. oh well.
i think that's about it. the rain made my day tonnes more exciting. heheh. sorry to my dear classmates who were, err, dampened by the day's happenings!
Monday, September 13
othello essay.
the mystery of the missing lit essay.
it was a boring tuesday late afternoon when mr alfred pang decided to give us an Othello essay. "how far does the context of war and soldiery contribute to the tragedy in Othello?" four pages. not typewritten.
okkkk. i thought. that can wait. two weeks and 5hours later, voila! after a few hours of hard work, inkless pens, and flipping thru the book (some pages for the first time in my life), i managed to produce (read: crap out) a five-page long essay! on a topic i have no idea about! heheh. i was pretty proud. my longest essay ever.
so, during a misty wednesday morning in CJC, i decided to finally hand in my work. along with ms nathan's PC work. yeap. they were two and three weeks late respectively. (hey, better late than.. well yknow..) yeah! by some weird coincidence, their mailtrays were only two boxes apart. 12 and 14. somehow, apparently, though im pretty sure i checked, i got the essays mixed up.
today, a week after the incident, mr pang tells me i handed in the PC essay to him. and ms nathan didnt get the Othello essay.
of course, knowing her, i think she just took it and lost it somewhere. mr pang told me to write another one for him. 5 pages!! hello!! like, hell no!!! haha. ok sorry. but seriously! it took me ages. i dont care. cheryl's on the hunt. i will find that essay if it kills me, cos writing it again certainly will. yess. the search is on. no stone will go unturned, no pidgeon hole will hold anymore pidgeons, no piece of paper will get away uninspected!
ok. i exaggerate. first thing tmr i'll......... go ask ms nathan again to search her desk properly. yesh, that's a good start ain't it?
so the mystery of the missing lit essay continues. the saga ensues. please stay tuned. will be back for more updates tmr. hopefully though, this silly story will end soon. i hafta hand in the rewrite by wed. oh please please please lemme find it!
-- to be cont.
the little girl.
the little girl.
the little girl was afraid
of ghosts and scary things.
the dark did nothing for her nerves,
she jumped when the telephone rang.
the little girl would hold out her hand
in hopes of clasping his.
though he teased her bout her childish fear,
his touch would bring her ease.
the little girl did not care
about love, or money, or hate.
all she knew was that he was there -
yet she did not believe in fate.
the little girl had simple dreams,
void of complications, free of taint.
she wanted that hand to be holding hers;
and with that she was content.
the little girl,
she never gave up.
"ten years, if you will,
twenty without luck."
Sunday, September 12
oddities of the day
today was a decidedly odd day, by my own standards.
a little surreal, a little sense of escapism from reality.
do i force myself to grin and bear it
when all i can wonder is how you're doing?
somehow, there was a certain lack of sadness today.
odd, but good in a way.
although the sadness gave way to some sort of emptiness,
it made me think a lil clearer.
so firstly, sorry. its been selfish of me to keep making it seem as if you left me. to me it seems that way. but the reason behind it was my doing.
and even now, if you were to change your mind, i'm not sure i could change mine.
but i still somethingsomething you. don;t know why..
i promised not to force it on you.. but even now, i wish you wouldn't treat me different.
know the heart you made and then unfolded?
pretty symbolic of mine.
ooh too much da vinci code. hehe.
well there you go..
all the best for exams. :)
Saturday, September 11
singapore bachelor
10 reasons why - Singapore can;t have "The Bachelor"
one. Everyone will be too busy lining up for the next Singapore Idol auditions.
two. The flower-giving ceremony would be - what - giving out orchids?
three. The Bachelor would have to say really lame stuff like, "I choose Rose Teo.. Rose, will you accept this orchid?"
four. The Bachelor would run out of places for "individual dates" (or group dates for that matter) in no time. Sentosa, Esplanade, uh.. Fort Canning Park, ahhh.. Ducky rides on the Singapore River??
five. No point having a kewl limo when you're gonna get stuck in a traffic jam every 3minutes..
six. Come to think of it, no point having a limo when's there ain't gonna be any heated backseat action. Remember the safety-belt rule? :)
seven. Err, hometown visits? "Hi, i'm so glad that you've made it all the way here, this is Ang Mo Kio. i really love this place.. the char kuay teow here is good.."
eight. People will sure complain if they have to give up an entire bowling alley for two ridiculous people to have a date.
nine. People might read it as "The Back Ache Lor". -_-"
ten. need i go on?
" almost.
one of the saddest words in life. "
-quote fr joel goh zhu hui. >_<
//in Your hands; i belong. :)